Readers of this blog are right. There is some good stuff in bill A 6457, sponsored by Assemblyman Brian M Kolb. The bill was introduced on
Louise
April 1 to the New York State Assembly. I am not exactly done reading the some thirty pages of the bill, but there are things I can live with, especially as far as parenting is concerned.
The bill is an amendment to the infamous-to-fathers New York State domestic relation laws. It aims at establishing the presumption of shared parenting. I could not help but smile at the carefully crafted reasons for such a presumption one reads in the legislative findings and intents (Section 1 of the bill) : “Shared parenting, where both parents share as equally as possible in the legal responsibility, living experience, and physical care of the child has been found to be in the child’s best interest in […] certain circumstances.” It seems the sponsors have some (not bullet proof tough) evidence of the obvious. Let’s put ourselves in the shoes of the sponsors of the bill: they are asking their colleagues to reform female-biased New York State family laws without stating these laws are a dismal failure, for they would vex the susceptibilities of those who supported and keep support them. Tough job.
How is shared parenting to be established upon divorce in the bill? Parents are to agree on a “parenting plan” during mediation (p.3) which would resolve contentious issues such as transportation from one parent to the other. Both parents are to have “parenting time,” and not only mommy (who usually gets sole custody), with dad (the non-custodial parent) doomed to get “visitations.”
For these changes not to be only semantic, and fathers’ right to be a parent of their children to be guaranteed by law, shared parenting has to be the rule, not an option hanging on the good will of the other party. That’s where there is a puzzling glitch: the amendment 240e to the domestic relation act states that if one party is seeking shared parenting and the other sole custody, “both parties shall bear the burden of the proof that their requested arrangement is in the best interest of the child.” That’s a weak side in the bill: for shared parenting to ever happen, it should be the only responsibility of the party who does not want it to contest it, and with serious reasons for doing so. The bill might well talk about “immediate sanctions” for interfering and withholding “parenting time” (p.24), it should better prevent one parent from tampering with the other’s party’s “parenting time” right from the start.
I know what I am talking about: “my parenting time” is long gone, and ex is now tampering with any communication from me and my family with my girls. The law is always going to be several steps behind the malicious creativity of alienating parents.
If I may dare the comparison, bill A 6457 sounds like Obamacare, (which fortunately so is now the law of the land ): it ain’t no public option, but is much better than what was before. Bill A 6457 is worth supporting and be made better.
To be continued…
Introduced on April 1 2013, and it sits since being referred to Judiciary Committee since Jan 2014
This is great and certainly would be a feat especially in NYS. However, this is only have the equation. Speaking for someone who fought tooth and nail for custody of my children after my ex accused me of abuse and molestation of my daughter. It was an expensive, grueling and exhausting process. Once they determined her “concerns” were not valid (without any recourse of course) and a 2nd OP because she simply didn’t want me in the marital home despite that I was paying for it…custody was decided as equal. And being told I should feel lucky to have 50-50, I was also informed that I must still pay child support. This was shocking to me because both of us (parents) have stable well paying jobs and clearly will incur the same costs while the kids are in our care. But as we know NYS’s version of fairness is socialistic and forces the higher earning parent to pay the other no questions. Clothing is never provided and so I end up paying for clothes, coats, boots, swim suits, toothpaste etc I never see and I must purchase all those items for my own household for the kids. Believe me when i say I think default equal custody is a great thing, I just ask that support should be addressed simultaneously otherwise even both parents get what is good for kids- equal time with parents- the paying parent goes broke keeping their household going while the other enjoys the benefit of support for 21 years. (And I won’t get into moving in a paramour) but support feels as tho it is used to support the kids the ex and the paramour and ITS WRONG!!! we did nothing wrong and are not criminals. We should not have to pay an ex to. Have a rel with our own kids. And especially to support a new lifestyle.
By the way, I met with Brian Kolb’s Legislative Aide on this -Nick Forst – and I was promised a second meeting with Mr. Kolb himself to discuss further details. I like that the bill outlines presumptive equal parenting/custodial time, however, the flip side is that CSSA only addresses one parent having custody and because of this you may still pay support according to CSSA guildelines and raise and pay for the child/children equally. In other words, you will have the children half the time with all expenses associated while paying the other parent to take care of the kids on their parenting time. It gets lopsided quickly. If know these are baby steps with NYS legislature, but we should really incorporate this simultaneously.
Leave a comment on here and we can discuss further. I am speaking with someone from the National Parents Organization on this soon too. Let’s not let this one languish…
Hi JB. I’m an organizer for Non-custodial parents in NY. Please email me with your contact info “JB: SHARED PARENTING” in the title. I’d like to speak with you.
My email:
J_calabrese78@yahoo.com
It’ll be interesting to see how this plays out in my divorce. Kids are 18 and 21, but my soon-to-be ex-husband keeps accusing me of being a bad parent (our son, 18, is living with me since we separated in February). I think he’s trying to get child support for himself (I will also probably be paying him alimony). I hear all the stories on this site and feel for the dads who got screwed. I guess I’m in for the downside of equality.