That’s the bottom line: for fathers claiming their rights, it all starts with the desperation from not seeing their kids: Jason Hatch (England) could not see his, Charlie and Olivia. He joined Fathers 4 Justice (UK) and stunted Buckingham Palace in September 2004 (The New York Times Magazine, May 8 2004). At the end of 2007, I had not seen my girls for almost three years and was harassed by ex via Manhattan Family Court. I was seeing myself going straight to jail and at least, I wanted my girls to know why; I started this blog. Nicolas Moreno, from Romans (France), has adopted a bolder way: hunger strike.
Dauphiné Libéré, 01/21/2013
Let me say first that if I could trade the New York State family justice for the French one, I’ll do it in a second. There, I bet justice may be slow but there ain’t no trial for child abuse that lasts more than 6 years; no judge arrogant enough to tell you, after having found you innocent of child abuse, that your relationship with your kids is “damaged” hence your kids and yourself are doomed to therapeutic visitations for an indefinite period of time; finally, joint-custody is the default option in divorce.
Is the French justice system faultless? On paper, it acknowledges the right to fathers to be part of their kids’ life; Yet it did not protects Nicolas Moreno’s when ex moved with Luca and Evan, their sons, some 400 miles away from him, for no justifiable reason.
Nicolas is part of SVP Papa, a father rights organization which is asking for the inclusion of alternate staying of the kids with each parent into family laws. There is a fathers meeting in Nantes, the city whose mayor is Jean-Marc Ayrault, the Prime minister, on February 20; to help him hear the Nicolas of France.
Hat Tip: Scott Gabriel Alexander Reiss
Thanks for the Share !
Nicolas Moreno, without Luca and Evan.
Pierre, on the ground here in France, with Nicolas Moreno, I must disagree with your speculations about Family Court in France. I’ve been fighting a scurrilous abuse charge for almost two and a half years, with no end in sight.
Two Judges (Custodial Court and Grand Jury) have already told me that no matter the outcome of my criminal trial, including a verdict proving my innocence at last, I will still have to suffer through monitored visits and theraputic supervision for an indeterminate time. In other words, even when I’m cleared of any wrongdoing, I’ll then be punished again for having been wrongly accused.
In America you have a kangaroo court. In France we have the court of Ubu Roi. One is just as bad as the other.
Tout ceux qui peuvent etre en France dimanche le 9 juin, nous vous invitons a participer a la Marche des Peres pour la Coparentalite:
http://www.sagreiss.org/marche_des_peres.htm
In France, in the vast majority of cases, the “principal residence” is at the mother’s, and the father is granted “visiting & lodging rights” the 1st, 3rd, & 5th weekends of the month, plus half of school vacations alternating first/second half in odd/even years.
“Shared” or “joint custody” pratically doesn’t exist. It’s our goal, alternating residence by week, if proximity, or by year (with all school vacations for the parent without residence that year) in case of long distance. There is a proposed law to this effect, Maille-Decool, but it’s stuck in endless committees.
The arguments against shared custody are all eyewash. Breast-feeding, but if the mother wishes to work, she uses a breast-pump. Conflict, but visiting rights are already an alternation, simply an unjust one. Distance, but what’s worse, changing schools each year, or changing fathers?
Dear Pierre,
While searching for an entirely unrelated subject, I came across your blog. Yesterday an old friend and colleague shared with me the happy news that after 14 years of being alienated from his New York City-based daughter by poisonous verbal subterfuge, she at last had come around and they were able to begin to develop a relationship on more equitable ground. This could happen to you!
I am truly sorry for your situation, and I hope that you will be able to keep love in your heart for your daughters, and possibly and eventually, for your wife as well despite her actions, for at one time you loved her too. It will free you and all of them from the heaviness that comes from years of unhappy entanglements. There is always hope for better times and situations as long as you are alive, and I wish you much god speed on your journey to completing this life lesson as easily and fully as possible so that you once again have your daughters in your life in a loving and balanced way.
Here I will not go into detail on my own situation, but in short, after 5 decades of alienation from my mother and siblings, through miraculous means, those relationships have been turned around. This has come about not thru ordinary methods and means, but through some events and intercession that were nothing short of miraculous.
Seek higher ground, and all will be lifted up with your efforts.
Blessings to your situation, and to all those who suffer the same fate, that they may be brought to a happy reunion,
Elizabeth Hardwick