Photo "Save the Children" Australia
Just read Caroline Overington’s article in the Australian and I can hardly believe it. Family Court Judge Benjamin (Melbourne, Australia) granted custody of two children to their father. The mother originally had custody of the children after the couple divorced in 2005. The children were clearly harmed by the separation of their parents and were reported saying that they did not want to visit their father. Hold on folks: Judge Benjamin found that the mother did not discourage the children from expressing these statements and did not encourage them to see their father. Judge Benjamin’s ruling was based on the assessment that the girl was “estranged from her father” and was “at risk of psychological damage, if not psychiatric damage” if she was not allowed to have a relationship with her father. Judge Benjamin’s decision was made under new laws introduced by the Howard government that require the family court to adopt the presumption of “shared parenting” when dealing with children of divorce.
Roughly at the same time, in Manhattan, New York City: as evidence of alienation of my girls by my ex-wife was mounting, documented by both social workers and even by forensic evaluator, law-guardian Octobre and judge Sturm did not even think of taking measures to keep the girls’ mother from discouraging them to see me. Psychological damage to my girls from continuous exposure to father’s demonizing? It has not even crossed Garline Octobre’s mind. Two weeks ago, as I was trying to find out what was happening with my motion to decrease child support, I met Garline Octobre in Manhattan family court. After civil greetings, I expressed to her my deep disappointment to Judge Sturm’s ruling about the child abuse trial: six more months of supervised visitation, which translate into six more month of a hopeless translation toward the resumption of a normal relationship between my girls and myself. Octobre’s answer: she agrees with me. My ex-wife is not helping. But what can she do ? My girls say they don’t want to see me. I have a “practical” problem. Sorry, my problem is not practical. It lays with her total inability to understand parental alienation and do something about it.
I am an optimist. Nobody is hopeless, if training is there. What law-guardians and family court judges in this country -or at least in Manhattan- need, is a solid study trip to Australia to figure out what shared parenting laws are and how they work.
Patience is our only salvation. We can only take one day at a time in dealing with the dysfunction in Family Law (FLAW) and soldier on.
I’m in year 4 and will take the custody matter to trial while blogging, lobbying, advocating, and taking lots of heat from gender feminists and their acolytes.
Best wishes.
Im just coming to an end with my 14 year struggle to have access with my son. He HATES me alot! He was removed from Australia when he was 2 by his Irish mother and kept in Ireland ever since. It’s only til now I’m really sensing his hatred of me.
It really hurt alot!
I have very little frineds in my life being too caught up in this tragic event to make friends.
http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/stolen-generation-victim-battles-to-see-son/2006/02/18/1140151850827.html
Peter,
Thank you for posting this comment. Surely the feelings of your son towards you will change when he gets to know you. At least now you can see him and be close to him. Pierre
Peter:
You may want to contact Ken Thompson whose son was abducted in the past year and also this article in the Sydney Morning Herald recently on another dad, Dimitrios Laskos, in the same boat but the mom ran to Poland. http://www.smh.com.au/national/child-abduction-polish-court-decides-sydney-boys-fate-20091206-kcyv.html.
A recent article on Ken’s situation is here: http://www.nowpublic.com/world/more-support-fathers-claims-abduction-andrew-thompson
Ken was going to contact Dimitrios. They know how you feel.
I have posted your Newspaper report in my blogs. I have some readers in Ireland.
I should have posted the blogs so you would know.
http://f4j-soo.blogspot.com/2009/12/in-oz-stolen-generation-victim-battles.html
http://parentalalienationcanada.blogspot.com/2009/12/in-oz-stolen-generation-victim-battles.html
Hi Peter.
Please contact me if you would like to talk to Australian parents (& parents from other countries) who are in the same situation you are in.
My email address is….
kenthompson@fastmail.fm
I have established a group called Coalition of Parents of Abducted Children (COPAC) & we are gaining media & political support for our objectives. If you’re on Facebook, I’ve also created a site called Coalition of Parents of Abducted Children.
Regards.
Please watch, it may help people reach out that are cut off…
My partner is experiencing the trauma that is associated with this type of behaviour. i have watched as his child’s mother has systematically poisoned their child’s mind against his very loving and responsible father. As a separated mother of two boys, who tells her children that they have a wonderful and loving father, i am disgusted at this woman’s behaviour. the very idea that she believes that her behaviour is acceptable and does not consider the devasting effects that this abuse, and i believe it to be exactly that, has on her son’s present and future life is abhorent to me.
I have watched her sabotage every weekend that the child used to spend with his father. by planting awful lies in his mind before he comes over,until such time as the child told his father that he no longer wanted to see him.
Parents who behave in this insane manner need to be held accountable for their actions. Although i don’t believe that punitive measures are the answer i think the great minds of this country need to start talking to the alienated parents, psychologists and professional bodies and implement strategies in which this very serious matter can be improved.
To all parents who are on the receiving end of this disgusting, immature, selfish and unloving act i offer you my heart felt condolences and will do what i can to see this situation changed for the betterment of our future generations and their mental and emotional well being. To all the parents who behave in this abhorent way……WAKE UP to YOURSELVES!!!! REEVALUATE YOUR DEFINITION OF LOVE.THE ONLY PERSON/PEOPLE WHO ARE BEING PERMANENTLY HURT BY YOUR ACTIONS ARE YOUR CHILDREN. Children need to know that there are more than one person in the world who loves and cares for them.
Im relieved but very sad to hear Im not alone. I’m in Perth Australia going through the very same situation.
I would love to get in touch with others and see what we, the alienated, can do from a legal stand point.
Your blog is quite old but I’m hoping you get this. John
jmt247@gmail.com
I’ve been so touched by the stories of the many many people (yes, both men and women) who are experiencing this behaviour from their former partners that i’ve decided to start a facebook page called Parental Alienation. I decided on this forum when i realised how powerful a tool it has been in allowing Australians to have a voice with regard to the current government’s attempts to make detrimental changes to the ‘Better Access’ to psychologists and mental health professionals. Even if it is just another way to make people more aware of the current reality for many parents and their children. i hope that it will be just as powerful a way to get the message spread as it has been for others. so if you have any links or contacts that you think will be helpful add them, if you wish.
Parental Alienation Syndrome is real. I put together a video from my own personal experience. It reveals the personality traits that so often underlie parental alienation, but are so often missed by the professionals and the family courts.
Hi Jon,
I’m interested in your video because I’m going through a similar situation with my kid. I am glad that this resource exist. I don’t feel like this is just some thing that has happened just to me. Let me know what I need to do to gain access to your video?
Thank You for sharing!
Romano,
Thanks for your interest. I’ve updated the video. Here is the new link:
Warning, strong language.
I live in California (USA) in the bay area — ground zero for militant feminism. You can see the affects of having Boxer and Feinstein as powerful US Senators as they have influenced laws and policies in California to the point where Courts do not really address PACA. ( http://solanofamilycourt.com/?p=169 ) I am glad to see changes although sad to see they are mostly in other countries. The US Family Law Court system is nothing more than a big business to keep lawyers employed and lawyers have inherent interest in keeping the system of law status quo of endless arguments while children are vicitimized. Keep up the posts.
I knew Jordi from the time he was an exchange student in Japan. We became really close friends, and even after the exchangeyear wasover, we still met up a couple of times. At some point, he stopped replying to my emails, and I thought he was to busy with his life. Today, after meeting another dear friend from that time, I decided to Google Jordi, only to learn that a tragedy happened 5 years ago. You lost Jordi 5 years ago. I lost him today. I cannot get over the ideas that such a lively person is not amongst us anymore.