Non-custodial parents victim of parental alienation have in common one problem: they cannot easily tell their story. It is difficult for the target parent (Baldwin uses this quite telling term in “A Promise to Ourselves” ) to explain why he is a target. When the nice folks of my building in Harlem asked me “how are the girls? (my daughters, who used to visit me at my place and were known by everybody), I felt that I could not inflict on them the phony child abuse trial, the ruling peppering more supervised visitations for six more months, etc… I go for the unsatisfactory shortcut: “My ex and I have horrendous relationship.” But people who are closer to me and whom I told my family court routine cannot but ask:”what did you do to her (my ex-wife)?” When I give them “nothing. I did not abuse her or beat her. I am no worst than the average asshole in the street,” I feel that this answer à la Jack Nicholson in Forman’s One Flew Over a Cuckoo’s Nest is met with incredulity. To be swamped in the same mess for that long, to be the object of such resilient hate, you must have done something wrong.
Mazoltuv Borukhova’s murder of her ex-husband, Daniel Malatov, tragically proves that target parents are not these nut cases wandering loose in the streets. Malatov could only see his daughter, Michelle, during supervised visitations but the law guardian was pushing for unsupervised visitations. That was perhaps too much for Borukhova, but for Borukhova, it looks that anything between her daughter and her ex would be too much. Borukhova hired a hit man among her relatives to kill her husband and the job was expeditiously done in front of Michelle, the four-year old daughter in a playground in Forest Hills (Queens, New York). Borukhova’s way is perhaps extreme. It has the merit of being totally explicit about alienation. Alienation is not about love or about over protection of the kid. The kid is an excuse. The “target” parent is to be E-LI-MI-NA-TED. From the life of the kid, for sure; financially if possible; from the face of the earth, even better.