Alienating parents want their kids to be happy, as long as they are the sole author of their kid’s happiness. Their kids ought not to be happy if they are not part of it. If the relationship of the alienating parent with the former spouse has stopped, that of their children with their father has to stop too. Alienating parents are not emotionally sophisticated: their motto is “me or nothing” and their behavior is barbaric burning of land: any link of the children with the bastard has to be eradicated; any involvement of the bastard into the life of their children just cannot continue.
Alienating parents are bad news enough; alienation doesn’t need to be encouraged by institutions such as schools, which are expected to be more sophisticated. It is not the case of the Brearley School, where my girls happen to be students.
After a rather bumpy start of my relationship with the school, I succeeded to have school reports of my girls sent to me. I guess that I should have considered myself a lucky non-custodial fathers, as many do not even have access to school records. However, I wanted to talk to my girls’ teachers, attend parent-teacher conferences and extra-curricular event school performances, where my girls would be involved.
By the end of 2008, I phoned Tasha Elsbach, the Director of the Brearley Middle School. I am no Ruppert Murdoch,who also send his girls to the Brearley School (Vanity Fair, December 2008): I get a phone appointment for January 7 2009. The conversation is cordial. I learned that Camille and Chloé are doing well. Talking over the phone with some teachers? Sure, they will call me. Attending the February parent-teacher conference? Tasha Elsbach tells me that there is an order of protection against me. I told her that the order of protection has been lifted by the judge. My generous ex-wife had largely publicized the phony child abuse trial, not its end, which refutes her accusation. I told Tasha Elsbach that I will send her the final ruling and a Judge Sturm’s court order that I can attend parent-teacher conference, my ex-wife’s agreement not requested. I further insisted on my desire to talk to the teachers, not my ex-wife, in a parent-teacher conference.
Since then, nothing. I guess Brearley’s direction must have heard my ex-wife’s arguing about her being the sole custodial parent and against my right to be informed about my girls’ education. Confronting alienation takes courage, which I guess is not common currency in Brearley school.