Chloé, Camille and Laura sometime in 2001
In the beginning of 2004, I was on a cloud. I thought that my ordeal was over, even if the ridiculous trial of child abuse initiated by sicko ex-wife was not. In February 2004, the court had ordered therapeutic supervised visitations and Spitzer, the director of Comprehensive Family Services, was positive: after eight of these, normal, unsupervised visitations would resume, at my place in West Harlem (NY), after two long years of interruption.
During the five therapeutic supervised visitations that I had with my girls, I never had any clear idea as to what therapy exactly consisted of. Perhaps because to me, my relationship did not need any in the first place. All that it needed was just not to be interrupted and let it be without any mingling from family court. Whatever therapy really was, it “worked” to a point. The social worker, Traci Shinabarger, was good and I played the game. I did not see why the visitations could not take place in my apartment but I accepted that temporarily, the choice of the location was to be left to the girls. We went to the library, and various public parks. Visitations went very well. Traci confided that the girls were okay for visitations to be at my place.
This is indeed what she recommended in a letter to the law guardian dated April 29, 2004. The next four visits were to have increasing unsupervised time, and only exchanges were to be supervised for the fourth visits. I was ecstatic. Too ecstatic.
Indeed, the same letter also displayed various features of mother’s alienation of the children. The letter documented several instances in which the mother talked about her issues with me in front of the children and the social worker. Traci stated that “due to the content of the conversations Ms Brodsky has tried to hold with me in front of the children, I am led to believe that unsupportive and disruptive conversations are taking place outside supervision. This type of behavior can single-handedly thwart efforts of therapeutic visits.”
You bet. The next thing I knew was that Traci Shinabarger was no longer the social worker in charge of my case. Spitzer had caved in to Brodsky’s pressure. “Therapy” was over.
In spite of parental alienation syndrome (PAS)’s strident denial by some Neanderthal feminist groups, the PAS symptoms displayed by the alienated children are well-documented. What remains to be explored by psychology tough are the features of the “alienator”, sicko ex-wife, who, like the second women whom Solomon confronts, would rather have her children cut in half than let them exist with somebody else.
Yes, supervision is one the one hand only as good as those who are positions of authority at the helm of supervision. In my case not to necessarily berate lesbians, it was lesbians. Furthermore they had had knowledge of the allegations that had been made against me. One could easily preceive the bais in their behavoir toward me. One could also easily tell, at least I and others could of their naieve and raw training. They were also new at their jobs.
At one point one morning as I arrived at the facility on which they had a trailer parked, a live-in mental health facility, a pesticide spraying was being made as I walked onto the property. Just as I reached the man with a pistol grip gun spraying out pesticide all over the place, there was a garter snake crossing the sidewalk. The man and I saw the snake simultaneously. He turned and shot the snake with the spray. I screamed “what are you doing”? I yelled at him that that was a harmless snake. I asked him what he was doing overall. He said he ha orders to spray the entire facility. Pines trees kept the place in a pesticide fog. Well I am a biologist and an environmental activist. The children including my daughter were already in the pool. They were breathing the pesticide. I marched to the trailer and found the new director. She began patronizing me when I demanded she go and remove my daughter immediately from that environ. She refused. I then left the facility and called 911 fourtimes. The sheriff came to the store across the street. He told me he liked the people there and he threatened to arrest me. I left. It was the last day of my life in the past seventeen years that I saw my daughter.
One the other hand supervision created conditions for the mother that allowed her to inflict meven more separation and hatred for me from our daughter.
I know of these neandrathal groups. One called Justice for Children created this nightmare for me from which I and my daughter have yet to recover. I was falsely accused of child sexual abuse. Mother got two free lawyers from the largest law firm in the country, Fulbright and Jaworski, Llp. Ironically mom was out committing three felonies while she was getting this ‘help’. Each and both of these entities should have thier asses sued off. Nobody will ever tewll me that severe leval parental alienation does not exist. It inflicted by her motehr ruined my daughter. I now have information she has had another child, two now, in her short life. She never finished high school. She is 23 now and still cannot pick up the phone and speak with me. There are problems with dad’s the child’s dad’s in her own life. Justice for Children is clearly sexist as well as evidenced by one of their own employee attorney who had been interviewed in the Houston Chronicle in May 2007.
Thank you for this site and may all rational people benefit
from it.
Robert Gartner
Houston, Texas
Hi I just want to say that I am sickened by the number of children that are being abused simply for the pleasure that it gives to the sociopathic mothers of these children. I am glad to see that you are speaking out about this. People do not believe that there are men out here going through what you are going through. I am a grandmother of a little girl whose mother is a sociopath and the hell she has caused my son and the hurt she is causing those girls of hers, one is not my son’s biological daughter so he has no legal rights to her, is unbearable at times. I can look at this from two angles because I too have a sociopathic mother and my parents had a really nasty divorce. My father got custody of my three brothers however the judge felt I should be with my mom. I did not know what a sociopath was until a few short months ago. I did know that there was something not right about my mother and grew up not respecting her for how she raised me. Now I understand and at age 54 I for the first time understand my mother. My father was a good man and a very private man. He never spoke bad of my mother however we knew there was some deep hurt there. I am 54 now and they divorced when I was 5. However the custody battle was not until I was 10. To this very day my mother talks about my father like he is the scum of the earth, yet I had two step fathers growing up, one when I was 10 – 12 that used to sneak in my room at night, until I finally told and they got divorced. The other was an ex heroin addict who went back to being a junkie after they split but she puts him on a pedestal when she talks about him. So I am reliving this situation with my granddaughter and trying very hard to protect her from going through what I had too. Nothing hurts more for a parent that loves their child or grandchild to know that they are being hurt and you are powerless to help them. Sometimes the pain is so unbearable you can hardly take it but you know you have to keep going. Thank you for stepping up and letting others know they are not alone. I am working on getting this information out to those in need of it as well. There are many more going through the same thing you are not alone. You and your children are in my prayers along with all the men and children who are in the same situation, but I also have all the women and children who are in the same situation in reverse with a sociopathic man. Sociopathic parents should not have custody of their children because they are incapable of giving them what they need to survive and thrive and grow up to be emotionally healthy adults. ~ sweetcardomom http://sweetcardomom.wordpress.com/
Those that choose to insist that PA and PAS don’t exist should be unable to sleep at night. Physical and emotional damage is being caused every minute of every day because of their ignorance and if they really cared at all about these children (and parents), their conscience’s should be keeping them awake all night.
In my case false allegations of sexual abuse ( made by the mother of my children and designed to keep us apart because the love we shared between us was obvious to her) were never investigated and were unfounded. A failing court system and a dysfunctional CPS system forced me to kidnap my own children just to put them in a loving and safe environment.
Our divorce/custody system, our cps system and our judges all need investigated. The people in charge of these agencies need terminated for gross failure to properly care for our children, and the judges removed from the bench. No one should ever have to kidnap their children just to love them. And those that hide the truth by saying that our system works and by saying that PA and PAS don’t exist, that they are made up theories used as candy to put abusers and children together, are muddying the water and obscuring a clear look for some financial gain. I don’t know how they can sleep at night, do you?
Glen C Schulz, fair parenting activist and author of
“Unlawful Flight; a parental kidnapping.”
Robert, Glen and sweetcardomom,
Thanks for your comments. It amazes me to see how unecessary pain is inflicted on children and non-custodial parents.
Pierre
Supervised visits and therapy only work as well as the system allows. In my case we had family therapy sessions that did not last very long because my ex said they were not necessary and stopped attending. The courts do nothing about this. Of course the type of people that alienate also know what to say and how to act so the therapist makes positive notes. But they still have the access to the child to contiue the abuse that the courts seem to turn a blind eye to.
Until the laws change nothing else will.
Parental alienation is a huge problem in our world.
That why we wrote our book. I thought you might be interested in an announcement we sent out this week.
The book, A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation has been published and is now available.
Anyone can order the book at our new website — http://www.afamilysheartbreak.com. The book is also available on Amazon.com; however people will receive it faster if they order it from our website.
We created the new website to coincide with the release of the book. If you have the old Hugs to Heartbreak website bookmarked, in your contact information, or as a link on your webpage, please replace it with this new URL. If you are interested in a link exchange, please go to http://www.afamilysheartbreak.com/resources/ and fill out the Submit a Resource form.
We wrote A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation to raise the visibility of an issue that as you know, affects millions of parents, children and extended family members every year. We’re confident A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation will help anyone dealing with this very painful situation and educate the legal and mental health professionals involved in these cases.
If you order a copy, please provide a comment about the book on the new website or on Amazon. We look forward to your feedback.
Sincerely,
mike “jeff” jeffries
Author, A Family’s Heartbreak: A Parent’s Introduction to Parental Alienation.