My name is Pierre Lacour. I am the dad of two beautiful daughters, Camille (15 years old) and Chloé (12 years old), whom I have not seen since September 10, 2005. My daughters live in New York City with their mother.
In 1991, I got married in Paris (France) and came to live in the US. While I was studying for my Ph.D in economics, I worked as a French teacher at the French Institute in New York, as a consultant at the World Bank in Washington D.C. and at the United Nations in New York. In 2004, I got my Ph.D. in economics from the New school from Social Research in New York. I teach economics.
When I do not work on my research and — very rarely– do not think of my girls, I love to learn and read Spanish. My girlfriend Laura and I live in New York City.
Since November 2009, I am a member of Fathers-4-Justice USA. Yet the views expressed in this blog are mine, not Fathers-4-Justice’s.
I am sure you will find the strength –and patience– needed to find a way out of this Kafkaesque situation. I bet an arm and a leg that in due time your daughters will seek you out. Why? because you are their dad and you are a great dad.
Juste pour te dire que je t’aime mon frère.
Et que j’admire la force dont tu fais déjà, et depuis longtemps, preuve, dans cette situation qui serait ubuesque si elle n’était pas aussi triste.
Juste pour dire aussi que je pleure ce temps que vous perdez ensemble, Camille, Chloé, et toi.
Avec tout mon soutien ( de l’autre côté de l’océan)
Kti
I am using my social networking site as a way to force these issues into places more people will see and read.
Chaz
ps- Soon to be jailed for back support , planing to starve myself to death in protest.
Very sad story. As a person who raised by single mother who never seen child support check and a wife to divorced man father of 2 from the first marriage, I feel for you, Pierre.
We have different but so similar story here…if anybody interested I will tell it. I will just say that ex’s brother works in Collection Unit in small town in NY State and guess what…they happened to make few mistakes (oooops), ruined my husband’s credit, did not see “stay of execution” couple times. I am wondering if my husband did that, would he be in jail by now? For alienation I will tell you also that my husbands ex have this nasty habit to blame somebody for her loneliness and everything else that not going well in her life. Eventually she started to blame the daughter. The girl said “mommy is getting so angry sometimes, she hits the cat and throw stuff on the floor, she screams at me for hours ” and so on. You say if you see something say something? My husband called this Child Abuse Hotline, they promised to check on a situation. The girl came next time to visit for a weekend. 2 days 15 words. We never saw her again. She don’t want to talk or visit, or, most likely her mother don’t want her to. The Hotline he called refuses to give him any update.
I am wondering as relatively new citizen here in this Land of Freedom. Do you really believe in Constitution and Bill of Rights? And if answer is “yes” my next question would be: Do you realize that you have less rights then murderer , rapist and terrorist? They deserve fair trial and you are not.
I see people here on this website, you, Pierre, people who posted comments as intelligent people , not pathetic loosers who pay $ 25 a month. Intelligence defined as ability to resolve problems. Why don’t we put our brains (or maybe resources) together and try to resolve this? I spent recently long hours on the Net trying to find anything to show my husband (that feel violated after coming home from Family Court and so frustrated that he don’t want to talk about it) that he should never give up. This is a free country, he has rights, they can not ignore this. They can not put their hand in your pocket and steal, and say ooops and keep stealing, and nobody can take this stealing hand out of your life even if you paid before hand 7 years on your own and never missed a payment and this is because “this is mandatory in NY to pay thru Collection Unit”. My research was disappointing, nobody ever won the fight.
What I am trying to say here is that 20-25 years ago, when the wave of divorces in America just started and women did not have rights like they have now, there was huge amount of men who did not pay child support for years. These women got together and changed laws and regulations. Maybe now is the time for you and my husband and many other men who has been discriminated against, taken away their rights and liberties, humiliated severely, to get together and think what you can do to make it right? Enough for sitting and feeling bad, I know it hurts badly, the money, the humiliation and the alienation. You need to DO SOMETHING! As a group perhaps you can do more then every one by himself. Pierre and others, tell me what you think!
Stay Strong Pierre.
The Kids are worth it
Up on Ration Shed
Go – http://rationshed.wordpress.com
Onward – Jim
I, too, am a divorced father of 2 children ages 12 1/2 and 11. My ex-wife is a parental alienator to the extreme and has denied visitation me and my children since Dec 2006.
The children’s attorney is aware of the situation, yet fails to protect my children’s rights.
Visit my website at : http://mkg4583.wordpress.com/
Support the Parental Rights Movement in the United States at parentalrights.org..
To date 81 Congressmen support the resolution.
The pendulum has swung too far in the American Legal system. “The Best Interests of the Child” is the doctrine/standard used by most courts to determine a whole range of issues related to the well being of children, including the parental rights in issues of custody. Until the early 1900s, fathers were given custody of the children in case of divorce. Many U.S. states then shifted from this standard to one that completely favored the mother as the primary caregiver. In the 1970s, the tender years doctrine was replaced by the best interests of the child as determined by family courts. Because many family courts continue to give great weight to the traditional role of the mother as the primary caregiver, application of this standard in custody has historically tended to favor the mother of the children. Feminist pressure on legislatures and courts has resulted in a Justice and Welfare system which at present is an afront to humanity and the rights of fathers in America. In our popular culture, we often hear about horrible “deadbeat dads” but never about the mothers who demonize their spouses in an effort to reduce, limit or in many cases eliminate access of the non custodial parent, the father. You do not need to go too far to find a father who is bankrupting himself in order to meet onerous child support obligations, in many cases for children he rarely or never gets to see. The Father’s Rights Movement needs to get some legs and the attention of legislatures and the media. We as a society are destroying and dehumanizing the masculine role in the American family. What is the role of man? Is the man’s sole and principal role to give every dime he has while being deprived of the opportunity to love his offspring?
Well said Chris, I love you brother . Gregory
There are so many blogs and websites for Fathers going through this in NY State.
Somehow – we must unite. Fathers could be so much more effective if they had a single NY organization. One place for all the blogs and all the sites to merge into. One place for everyone to turn for information and support.
It could happen – it would be wonderful.
Thanks, it is a good point. Shall we do that trough Fathers for Justice New York?
Pierre
Hi Pierre,
I was hoping you could add http://www.DadsDivorce.com to your blogroll as another site for information and resources for fathers at any stage of divorce.
Our mission is to provide any and all information and resources we can compile about divorce, alimony, child support and child custody and how we can help dads through the process.
Thanks and good luck.
Matt Allen
Editor, DadsDivorce.com
Pierre,
I am truly sorry for the horrific experience you had in family court. Please-please-remember there are non-custodial mothers out there like me who have been subjected to similar treatment by the so-called justice system.
Apparently, there are about 2 million non-custodial mothers in the U.S. Certainly, some fit the stereotype: substance abusers, etc, etc. but some do not. I have talked to many women that are suffering just like you and me.
I don’t see you as a “woman hater.” But the word “father’s rights” should be replaced with “non custodial parent’s rights.
Stories like mine can only bolster our cry for justice.
I have not seen my son in 5 years. My story is long and sad.
Someday I will try to succinctly share it here.
Thank you for creating a place where people like me can come
to knowing that they are not alone in this hell.
Debra,
Thank you for your comments. You are right, I am not in the business of hating women. As you can check for yourself, I have posted comments on mothers being deprived of their parental rights by family courts.
You are welcome on this blog,
Pierre
Same in Australia
Family Court course child abuse please read link
http://father-familycourtchildabuse.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default
Please read link as from Australia
http://father-familycourtchildabuse.blogspot.com/
I don’t find any legal or financial help for us dads that are being taken to the cleaners. can you suggest any? I have an old case,which I lost my rights to my daughter. She was adopted thorough dss. to this day I am paying back support for my daughter and the teenage mother who also lost her rights and we were never married. I feel the foster mother and social worker exchanged money under the table. they also made sure my mother couldn’t get custody because they trumped up allogations until the adoption was over. It nearly costed my mother’s life. they are taking half of my pay check and I have nothing to live on. what can I do?
tough very tough. I can only suggest to go to the family court in your county and apply for a downward modification order.
peace and good luck
I am a father of 2 beautiful boys . I have not seen or talked to them in over 4yrs. Before my injuries I made an average of about 28k a year as a carpenter and have been imputed an income of 80k by Family Court Support Magistrate Christine P. Krahulik. The evil mother is in her glory teaching my children to hate me . She also files false police reports that Family Court Support Magistrate Christine P. Krahulik awards her orders of protection. I live 3000 miles away from the mother. I feel we need to get together and let people know about this. Please contact me !!! I have some pretty good ideas how to get this out!! I’m also looking for film makers if anyone is reading this!!!!! I promise to WOW you with my complete story. The ones who pay the most is our children.. THIS NEEDS TO STOP NOW!!!!
I am so sorry, to hear that there other fathers in similar situations, my story is similar to Alexander. I have been falsely arrested, my boys have been taken away, and I have lost everything. all because what she says is the truth and anything else even if logic defies it must be a lie, we are dealing with a system that takes the path of least resistant (not what’s best for the children). I wonder what lobby group the lawyers have working on this as they are the only ones benefiting from the controversy. My story will WOW you as well.
What can we do?
Just want you to know if you think you have it bad there is always someone worse off my prayers are with all of you. This is my story any advice would be greatly appreciated my wife is mentally ill. On November 14th she ran out of our home at 6:30 in the morning with my children in their underwear after waking up and yelling at someone who appeared to be in the ceiling. I called her parents for help they came and took her to their home. On November 15th I went to my wife’s parents home to see if my wife was okay. They called the police on me I was not arrested my wife filed a domestic incident report against me.She accused me of pulling her hair and choking her. There is no proof because I just tried to get her help there was no domestic violence. On November 17th I had to meet with a domestic violence police officer. The police officer advised me if I think my wife is mentally ill to buy a tape recorder for my own protection because she locked up the same man six times and it turned out that the man was innocent. His wife was a schizophrenic and refused to get help. On November 21st my wife started talking to me and some third party who she was not there. I recorded all the conversations between me and my wife and the imaginary third party. On these recordings the third party told her to run out of the house because she did not want to play with him anymore my wife told me that this third party has control over her and she has to do whatever he says. She also stated that he told her to tell the police that because I was going to try to put her in a mental institution and that he loves her very much and don’t want to see anything happen to her. She also states on the recording that this person special power is he can talk to two people at once that is his gift and that he gave her his gift. She also stated that this person clogs the toilet so she has to plunge it and he can also make the water go down. The recordings go on to the early hours of November 22nd . On November 22nd I took my children to school and called 911. She was taken to Coney Island Hospital Psychiatric ward. She spent eight days there. She refused medication for her entire stay her hospital records indicated she was suffering from unspecified psychosis. Her medical records also state that the patient is suffering from internal stimuli and paranoia she also accused the doctors of collaborating with me her husband to take her children away. Her medical report also states that her insight, judgement and impulse control is impaired and she requires medication. Her report also states that she suffers from episodic mood disorder and personality disorder. The hospital report also states that her thought content suffers from delusions, paranoid ideation’s, preoccupations or obsessions. The report also states that she is suffering from grandiose delusions, and telepathy. Her medical report also states that she tested positive for cannabis. When she was released from the hospital she went to Child Protective Services and made a bunch of false accusations against me.They removed my two children from my home on December 3rd based on her accusations she claimed I used drugs I have passed every drug test that they sent me for. Originally they were charging both of us with neglect me for her false accusations and her for drug use and mental illness. Child Protective Services dropped the mental illness neglect case against my wife if she would plead guilty to the drug use and they dropped the mental illness neglect against her without even reading her medical report. After I called 911 on my wife on November 22nd I went to my kids school P.S. 277 to see if they can talk to someone so I spoke to the guidance counselor she stated she would be happy to help and speak to my children. The Child Protective Service caseworker Ms. Loissant also spoke to the guidance counselor. The C.P.S. caseworker Ms. Loissant lied and testified under oath that the guidance counselor stated that I smelled like alcohol and that the family is known for drugs and I live in a known drug house. I spoke to the Guidance counselor and she was astonished and upset because never said any of that she is also willing to testify in court. The C.P.S. caseworker and my wife are sitting next to one another while were waiting to enter the court room laughing and giggling with one another. My children as of now are in a safe place with my wife’s aunt and uncle. Child Protective Services wants my kids to be returned to my wife before my hearing is even over the kids were taken from my custody. I am really astonished because I think the judge is actually considering it. I have done nothing wrong but try to get the woman I love the help she deserves.
I am thrilled being able to read this site’s contents that name names of judges and attorneys for children.
However, there is so much misunderstanding about who the culprit is when a child is separated from a parent.
It starts at the appellate division that hosts “resource” psychologists who may have no experience with families and children. These appellate divisions have become engaged in the commercial delivery of mental health services.
The appellate divisions also host appointed lawyers who represent women and children at tax payer expense. Here, County Law §722 does not require indigence, only the inability to afford counsel. So everyone gets a lawyer except the father.
The divisions also regulate judges by appeals and discipline private attorneys admitted to practice in the state.
There are also other resources that receive grants: the Legal Project directed against the military, Children’s Law Center that hosts law guardians, various battered womens’ organizations that help build up cases against men.
So you are up against a well oiled machine.
The cardinal error in these family cases is to assume the enemy is the mother. She is merely the beneficiary of this apparatus that is set up to use children as a way to bring cash into a jurisdiction.
I hope this entry was useful and helpful.
Dear friends, unless we are prepared to become pro-active instead of re-active, nothing is going to change. Please consider the following gender neutral non-violent action which can be found at http://www.interpaal.com Rain them down from the rooftops of NY or leave them in public places. Complaining and doing nothing will produce no results!
http://interpaal.squarespace.com/storage/images/ENGLISH%20BOYCOTT%20DOC.pdf
R there any politicians in Albany New York that support family law reform? Is so, I’d love to know who they are so I can support them.
Thanks,
Elder
Hi Pierre, we’re in the same situation. I applaud you for getting your story out. One day it WILL end!
It sounds the se as my sad story but my ex was cheating with a new York state trooper (which he moved in a week after she kicked me out)so I am always getting arrested .but what is sad that my ex is keeping from my kids from me and I live a mile away and can’t see them .why because she filled the kids head with lies.and she had a better lawyer who was buddy buddy with the family court judge small towns “great place to raise a family”Good Luck and thanks Herkimer county.i love new York …..they just wanna keep making deadbeat dads . When they should have looked into my ex .
wow I’m not the only one going through stuff. Hang in there guys everything comes to an end. good or bad
can someone help me please; i am missing the best years of my sons life even though i pay child support, i feel that i have no rights, actually from my experiences with the support system[ i have no rights]…. i have even resorted to sending my son the things that he needs directly rather then going through a third party, however this is looked upon as a crime… my sons mother would rather that i am caught within the stoic web of the support system, which really does not have the child’s best interest in mind, if it did; it would support the father in his endeavor to be a part of his childs life…is there anyone out there who can help me, is it possible to change or ammend the law; is there any type of legal action that can be taken….help
“Now and then it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” – Guillaume Apollinaire
Bonjour,
Quelle surprise de voir notre actualité relayée jusqu’aux USA !!!
Bon courage à toi, Pierre Lacour.
Yann Vasseur, president de SVP Papa.